my friend pammy who ive liked welll for a while has decided that the whole dateing friends thing is ok for the summer of senior year cause she dosnt want any missed opertunitys... so she decided shes gonna date all the guys for a week... heh welll i would be one of thouse guys....

but im not going to be... just because i dont wanna be one of thouse guys.. i dont wanna be somone shes going out with just for the hell of it.. grr.. this could be me being stupid or it could be my morals telling me that what i want is a girl... well or guy... preferably guy... wholl like me for me & i like them for them... grr whatever




soo is that wrong...

drew got into the NY international film festivle.. ah. im so happy for him.. its so exciting... i have to ask what he got in for, but i know he got in for one of his greats... sooo happpy.... drew is a god!!!! hes a freshman at nyu.. and an amazing guy... im still amazed... lol.. yeah... if i find a link to his video ill put it up i forgot what site its on... ok welll im offf now.. ^^ soo excited for him

i dont have much but i have the ideas that are stuck inside my little head.... its like in the comic that i love called "i feel sick" there are so many thing i want to express and know how to express but i dont have the means or the well money to do it... i have the photography equiptment to do the photography.. i have the abality to take the pics.. i know that... i just ned to get money and a car.. well i have a car.. i need a lisence.. grr... with that ill be free to go where i need to to get the pictures i need... A LITTLE SELF-EXPRESSION THATS ALL I WANT



_

on a lighter note today was the last day of school.. fun fun fun... went surfing.. y sister broke her ankle.. i drove her to hospitol.. sat there she goes in tomorrow to get the pins in her leg... fun i know... great way to end the year...

_

and one more... unless somone gives me a damn good reason y not... i offically give up on relationships... when i attempt it eithor goes horribly wrong or we wind up being friends... sooo i think ill just stick with the friends thing.. but hey whatever happens happens...









------"So much to do, so little time"- Winston Churchill------

listening to: true rulers by common riders... its old school punk.. good stuff!..


oh well. i wanted to write abotu somthing common really... how to know if the person you like likes you... how the hell do you do that?.. im honestly the worst at telling... like the other day there was some girl hitting on me in school... lol.. i didnt realize it till today... lol.. i wish i never had now but yeah!.. lol.. it happens.. grr to any girls that like me really.. lol.. the few girls i like.. lol.. probally feel nothing for me.. but hey whatever.. ill live.. and guys.. phh.. grr. guys suck.. i dont want any right now... not im the mood for anyone in that area... i dont know.... whatever.................. it happens tho so hey whatever...


i just wish i knew how to tell if a girl likes me.. and if i wernt as shy... grr. lol.. ask anyone who knows me.. its like impossible to get me to make the firt move unless i reallly like you... but whatever. that never really happens lol... yeah... i just i knew how to tell if somone liked me... cause im well blind and stupid lol.. oh well..... byes now






matt..... do you really think i care if you read this?... move on...

..........its very easy to become depressed..............